Things I felt guilty about yesterday (this is for real folks)
-Not starting a placenta the night before
-Harper not taking long enough naps. Asking what should I do different I am screwing with her brain development shit!
-Having Derrick pick up the chicken that needed rescuing when I knew he had homework to do
-The chicken being stressed out and traumatized by the move, the dogs and her new home
-Having to bring Harper to work with me and her nap getting interrupted by customers
-Not paying enough attention to Harper during the day
-Not having enough time for myself
Is this because I am a woman? To men feel this way? When was I expected to do 15 billion things a day and not lose my wits? Maybe I am just looney.
However, I don't think this is all my fault. I am pretty sure somewhere a long the line guilt was or is used as a psychological tactic to persuade us to do things one way or the other and I have just happened to eat that up and live by this nagging feeling of guilt. Corporations use it, my parents definitely used it, as a wife I have done it and where does this leave us as a whole? Absolutely nowhere. What is my fault though is buying into all this jargon. Sure guilt has its place just not as the underlying factor of how I live my life.
Today, begins the time in my life where I trust myself and not Google. Fancy that. I will make decisions on what I believe to be best for me and than my family. Yes, me first, I am important. If something goes awry it's okay.
It is a blessing to make mistakes. It is a blessing that people do things differently than I do. It is a blessing to have everything I need here and now.