Ahhh... another piece that I have heard so many times and have not given the concept any energy past "yea. I do that. I have no problem receiving."
Yesterday I realized how delusional that was. It is harder, yet simpler, safer to be independent, needing help from no one, taking care of myself that was the ultimate goal. Depend on no one, get help from no one, I am able, strong, American, independent, I can do it ALL. Ask for help?, only in the worst case scenario.
Yesterday a friend reached out and asked for help. Have you experienced how good it feels to be asked to help? It filled me with love and warmth and all I wanted to do was help and I offered in the only way I could at that moment with frozen food and a car. Though each was declined I felt the power in receiving by giving. The offer was enough to give her the support she needed to find the momentum to go.
Today a friend's mom passed. I want nothing more than to comfort her in a way that I know will bring peace, relaxation and the feeling of unconditional support: food. I am being met with a strong resistance.
I feel most people can relate to the "oh, it's okay. I am fine. I will be fine. Thanks for the offer but. No, I don't need anything. No, I have taken care of it. There is really nothing you can do to help"
In the recent past I was terrified to receive love because really this is what it is whether it is by way of food, affection, event planning, etc. So, I get it but today I am SCREAMING from the depths of my soul, pleading that she, I, you can open yourselves to receive love, kindness, compassion, truth, respect, you, me.
What a shift this would be. What a shift this is. So, in the true American spirit I am challenging you to open up and RECEIVE love once a day or at least once today.
Conception of Harper was the first time I truly opened myself up to receive. It began with love from Harper and a great circle of women in Richland Center.